Male Chastity Lifestyle Couple

When we first started looking into chastity for my husband, I surfed the web for information to help me understand it better. I soon found that many women supposedly beat their men to a greater or lesser degree to reinforce the behaviour change they wanted. At the time I thought I could never do this to my husband, I love him too much to hurt him in any way. Boy-oh-boy have I changed my mind on this.

When we got into the chastity lifestyle it just didn’t go too well for a lot of the time. My husband could be argumentative and often tried to control what went on. When I searched the web on these problems it more often than not came back to spanking as being the solution. It was make or break for us so after much negotiation we tried it. I found it more difficult at first for me to give than for my husband to receive. However once I got into it and it produced positive results we wanted I have never looked back.

 A comment about safe words here. A punishment is a punishment and many believe it should be delivered in full as promised come what may. After all it is corporal punishment and it’s supposed to hurt and be difficult to take, that’s the whole point. If he is able to get out of it by using the safe word it will not have the deterrent effect it should have to help him modify his behaviour. However if he is having difficulty during the punishment he knows he can use the safe word so we stop to assess the situation. It may be he has cramp, or a restraint is too tight, or he feels he is making too much noise etc. Once the safe word has been used, we stop to assess the situation, make any adjustments needed and after he is settled down again the punishment will continue to completion. He knows he cannot avoid any part of corporal punishment, even one stoke, by using the safe word and if I ever thought his use of it was just to get a break, I would add additional strokes because that is not his choice to make.

I never beat him beyond what is needed at the time and I don’t see it as hurting him, just helping him. He accepts being spanked because it works and gives him that extra incentive to modify his behaviour or suffer the consequences of extending his lock up time plus a beating. The reason spanking works is simple to understand, it works because it is instant. A man may think he will cope with a lock up extension at the time of his bad behaviour and he does cope when it is first imposed, but as the days progress he often finds he can’t cope well after all. I am sure extending denial through chastity will work to change him but it was taking such a very long time to modify some his long held bad habits and this was putting a strain on me to manage him. Corporal punishment given with love and much care changed all that for us which we are both grateful for. However I now never reduced the extra time he would be locked up for an infraction, I just give him a spanking in addition when I think it is needed.

So, spankings are not the main driving force for making your man yield to your control of his behaviour, it is you taking charge of all his sexual activity by taking control of his penis. However the timely application of a good spanking is useful to drive home a specific message he is otherwise finding difficult to grasp or hard to apply. I have to admit I now enjoy giving him corporal punishment and seeing the well spanked and marked buttocks of my lover gives me great satisfaction and is a big turn on for me. I think I have become very good at spanking him, and all my early reservations have long since vanished.

There are two types of spanking a wife might want to give her husband, erotic or punishment. An erotic spanking is to give pleasure and will start slow and light increasing the intensity as the male gets more and more aroused. It usually culminate in the spankee getting an orgasm and can take up quite some time. However a punishment spanking is short, sharp, somewhat painful and to the point.

We are talking punishment spanking here, the husband will know or be told what he has done wrong. He will however willingly submit to the punishment or suffer the consequences of a much longer lock up. He should not be told how many strokes of what implement he is going to get until he is restrained or at least in position for the spanking. It is up to you to decide his punishment and then tell him what he is about to get and why he is getting it.

The spanking needs to be strong enough to make him think about the reason he is getting it and to deter him from the behaviour that caused you to give it in the first place. He needs to understand why he is being punished, so make it very clear to him what he has done wrong because it may not always be obvious to him. It may be a habit he is simply not conscious of. This cause and effect approach applies to extending his denial times too because he always needs to know why he is getting a lock up extension.

To get the benefits both you and he need from a spanking the intensity needs to be raised enough to give him some distress to be effective, but not so much he becomes a wreck and loses all thought and control. Spank him until you just reach the point of distress and continue at this level until the punishment is over.

Always deliver the amount you promised, never let him off any because that will give the wrong message. You can always drop the intensity slightly of the last few strokes if you detect he is suffering too much. Start the punishment with a few light strokes to prepare him followed by the remainder at increasing force to just reach his distress intensity. I always add a few of strokes to any beating to allow for the first lighter preparatory strokes. So if I think 12 strokes is sufficient for a minor infraction, I will tell him he is getting 15, and so on.

This type of correctional spanking is used to help him adjust his behaviour to what is required of him and it usually needs him to be restrained in some way, certainly when he is new to the concept. Later on, when he is better able to control himself during spankings, restraint may not be required so often unless of course you like to see him tied down.

You will find if you spank him when he is sexually aroused you will have to raise the intensity quite a lot because he will likely find much eroticism in the spanking and can even get much pleasure from it. You want to make him feel a bit of the pain but not enough to diminish his arousal otherwise you will have to wait until he becomes aroused again if you wish him to satisfy you sexually after the spanking.

Some men can even orgasm from a spanking and this is bad behaviour on his part as this should never be allowed because it will be seen by him as a reward for his misdemeanours. If you find your man gets pleasure from a spanking then the intensity needs to be raised beyond the level that gives him sexual pleasure.

Be prepared for some serious welts in this case and you may not want to proceed under these circumstances until you have given him a prostate milking to reduce his arousal enough. He will normally only get sexual gratification from a spanking if he is sexually aroused before it starts. Just tying a man down can get some sexually aroused so again a prostate milking after he is restrained may help.

If he has just had an orgasm (you may be spanking him for having the orgasm when not allowed) then he will not be sexually aroused at all and the spanking will be pure punishment with no eroticism. This will surely drive the message you want home about no orgasms unless you expressly allow it.

We have now been over four years in male chastity lifestyle and the number of spankings he needs has reduced considerably. However I do still spank him occasionally to make sure he doesn’t forget how much difference they can make to his resolve to behave as I (and he mostly) would like.

I give these “maintenance spankings” the day after I allow him unlocked for a full orgasm. He therefore gets between 6 and 12 per year and I don’t feel at all guilty doing this now because I know it works for us. I did have some concern at first that when he realised he would always get a spanking soon after his full orgasm it would cause him to lose some interest in having a full orgasm and detract from his pleasure.

However I need not have worried because he is so aroused and focussed on his next full orgasm after what is always a long period of tease and denial, even though he never knows when it will be, nothing will dampen his ardour to come. He even accepts that the spanking he gets the day after is good for his chastity regime and I don’t feel guilty at all because we both benefit.

I wait until the day after his full orgasm to give his maintenance spanking as I do want him to enjoy the afterglow and serenity associated with full orgasm for as long as possible. The following day gives him insufficient time to become aroused as there is no sex play between him coming and his spanking. His penis is always locked up of course. Without the benefit of any sexual arousal in him, his spanking is pure pain and punishment that reinforces his subservient role in our relationship. Maintenance spankings are heavily ritualised and are usually given in the morning, before work if necessary. I normally make the actual punishment last about half an hour, however sometimes I will give him half an hour of handcuffed naked corner time first so he can fully prepare mentally for what is to come.

Very occasionally, maybe once or twice per year and if he has displeased me badly, instead of a normal punishment spanking I will beat him beyond the point of distress. Tight restraint is absolutely essential and a gag will be needed if noise could be a problem. I like to hear his vocals if possible because after a short while in distress his mind seems to shut down and he goes quiet as if giving in to the inevitability of the relentless onslaught his body is having to take. After the punishment I will keep him handcuffed for half an hour or so and will give him plenty of aftercare to nurse him back to reality. This whole process somehow resets his mind and removes any negativity he feels and brings a serenity in him that can last for weeks.

This works for us; he becomes very grateful and exceptionally compliant after he has recovered from such a beating. I don’t have to go any harder than normal with the strokes to achieve this effect, all I have to do is carefully note when he approaches distress and instead of holding back as in a normal spanking, just keep the pressure on until he is on the point of losing control of his mind and body. Carry on giving strokes of sufficient strength to keep him in this state for short a period of time depending on how he reacts and how you feel.

When I have finished, the area of his body I have punished looks no different from the result of a normal spanking. Remember I am not out to damage him, my objective is to control that part of his mind that will bring mutual benefit, not to beat him to a bloody pulp just because I can. I love to do this in a remote outside situation and have him walk back to the car naked, or in a short skirt if people may be about, which adds to his humiliation. Tell him he must not make too much noise if he is being beaten outside otherwise you will have to fit him with a gag. It may be best to use a gag regardless.

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We both become truly relaxed after I have given him a good beating because it is a huge stress reliever for us both. He is content because all his shortcomings have been forgotten and forgiven. Extending his lock up as a punishment does not do this because in a perverse way he enjoys that. He hates being beaten because it is very painful and that’s why it is so good for him, it is a true punishment.  After a beating it is like a fresh start for both of us.

If you wish to take spanking further there is much information on the internet to help you and an amazing array of equipment can be bought. Remember though to filter out the extreme fantasy stuff and make sure all you do is fully negotiated and agreed.